Many things to to reflect on during this time. Mid-term Elections, Dia de Los Muertos, All Souls Day, Halloween, Samhain. And last, but not least, National Diabetes month. As I was hiking on Sunday, I wondered if there was a conscious decision to have Diabetes month right after a national sugar fest. Because it is a time of Celtic New Year and time for remembering and honoring ancestors, Diabetes stayed with me. How many of my family members have been touched by this disease. Both maternal and paternal family members are prone to it.
Without consciously knowing it, I developed an odd relationship with sugar. As I became an adult, I noticed how certain "foods" made me feel and I didn't like it. I began to treat sugar with the same aversion some people have for alcohol or tobacco. Maybe somewhere deep down inside I knew that I was carrying this genetic time bomb, that would be detonated with a significant amount of sugar. Maybe I carried terrible memories of my paternal grandmother's amputation or the stories of how my maternal great grandmother had cuts that would not heal. Maybe, I was stifling the worry for my siblings, trying not to imagine them in Diabetic comas. These thoughts all flowed back to me like the little skulls and scary masks that are emblematic of this time of year.
Thankfully, I crossed the river of my fourth decade in pretty good health. Thankfully, my ancestors had given me hope and courage, despite the genetic time bomb. Thankfully, I made peace with my own mortality and I found a practice that helped me know and accept myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I took a series of deep breaths and really began to live.
Each one of us carries some frailty or sensitivity that we inherit. Truly a lot of our personal healing involves doing the healing work our parents or grandparents didn't finish. So this time for remembering is also a time for accepting my responsibility, my part in the weaving a great cloth. And I breathe again.
It's been years since I gathered candy for Halloween. It's been years since I put on a costume. But I think this year I got to see the fun in it again. In lovely Sedona, not only is the weather pleasant, but everyone around town seemed to be dressed up on Sunday. At the grocery store, at the gym, at the coffee shop and on the streets. All sorts of costumes. It caused me to reflect on what, why or how I stopped celebrating life in this way, how I became so serious. I did a long hike on a new trail. Quite appropriate. I can start to take a different approach. I am seeing new ways for integrating my internal growth with connections to others.
I sat down to meditate in a cool spot. My spine charged with energy, my hands charged with energy, my lungs filled with the fresh scents of pine and juniper. My eyes filled with the bright light reflected on new flowers and leaves. My feet were tired from the rough rocky path, but my heart was full and grateful peace. I was happy to get back into town, to experience the energy of this time of year.
As I voted today, I marveled at how crowded the place was. I do not always agree with the politics of some of my new neighbors, but I do like their sense of civic involvement. I also appreciate their easy-going style. I have mentioned again and again how beautiful this place is and how blessed I feel to be with these red stone hills. But I am beginning to appreciate the beauty of the people here, too. Maybe the red rocks have softened my heart. I hope so.
By the way, two of these photos are from NYC. I couldn't resist sharing them.
Blessings and light,
Joseph
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